Toxic Friends: How to Spot an Unhealthy Relationship

Anyone that says they are your friend, is probably a “wolf in sheep clothing.”

We have info on how to find out if your friend is really your “friend.”

Friends with Benefits

When you think “friends with benefits,” the first thing that comes to mind is usually the physical aspect. In this case, it’s a little different.

A “friend with benefits” is someone with so many expectations but nothing to offer, giving a sense of entitlement but have no rights to it. Always watching what you got, feeling they should have a taste of whatever you have worked for; simply because they are your friend.

That “you ain’t think about me?” friend, or the “why you ain’t buy me nothing?” friend; the “you selfish” friend simply because you’ve learned to take care of yourself and don’t look for handouts; unlike them.

After a while, if your friend starts to feel like your child that’s a sign to break them off, toot em’ and boot em’. You didn’t sign up to adopt an adult or to be a provider for anybody’s grown child.

Are we in Competition or what?

Now, it’s a very factual thing that every friend may not come with the same privileges as you. But once you start feeling like you are competing with your homie it’s time for an evaluation.

Example, let’s start with something simple.

You start working your dream job, and you get your first check. It’s only right that you treat yourself after a pay period. You decide to do a little shopping for yourself, and you tell your girlfriend about your new Gucci purse. Instead of cheering you on for getting your new Gucci bag, she says something like “You should have got a Louis Vuitton like me, they’re better.” Excuse me? Listen, if you like Gucci you better rock out that Gucci until you can’t rock it anymore! Forget the rest.

Here’s another: you get your first car. You’ve worked hard for this new car, a Volkswagen Beetle, ready to share the good news with your friend and instead of congratulating you they say something like “Why you get that small car?” Simply because they have a Jeep Wrangler!

First and foremost, you got what you could afford. With that being said, you got what was best for you, nobody else, and that is all that matters at the end of the day.

What is a friend?

Do you know what a friend is? Have you ever taken the time to look up the word friend? This is a serious question you should ask yourself.

According to the Webster-Dictionary, a friend is “one attached to another by affection or esteem”, “one that is not hostile”, “one that is of the same nation, party, or group”, “one that favors or promotes something such as charity”, “a favored companion”.

Usually, when you become friends with a person you are bonded by similar traits or common thinking, meaning don’t attach yourself to a friend that will bring your being down, if you hold yourself up to higher standards, that is what you will attract. When you think of yourself to a lower standard you’re basically saying you are willing to accept anything, such as trash. Don’t welcome, nor keep trash around you. You are better than that, and you must always believe it. There is a saying that goes “birds of a feather flock together” just think on that when you’re looking at your circle of friends.

Are you a winner or a loser?

A true friend is never going to leave there friend behind. Meaning if you see your friend down and out, or lost without any direction; it’s time for you to be their light.

With saying this it does not mean that you baby your friend, not at all. It means sometimes as friends we have to lead the way. This is a characteristic you should look for when evaluating your friendships.

If you are going through a rough time and your friend(s) are not there to bring you up; professionally, academically, emotionally, or even mentally; it’s time for a revaluation. In reality, you want to always have a circle that wants you to win. If we are not all winning, growing, elevating, or becoming something in life; it’s time to go. Point blank period, sometimes you have to stunt on the next. Not to be arrogant, no. But to show what you are all about so that they can feel what they have lost, and you can just Kanye shrug on with life.

For example, you are going through a rough breakup, and your friend(s) know this. If they are not helping you to get out of that funk; whether it is to vent, lift up your spirit, whatever you may need to help you heal and move on, you need to reevaluate.

Or if you are unemployed and looking for a job, your friend(s) knows this, and they have openings at their job but refuse to tell you and you find out on your own. I don’t know about you but that’s a cautious sign because why would your friend want you to be broke or part of the losing team.

To some, they don’t feel obligated but it comes with the territory. It’s that unspoken loyalty rule that comes with friendship.

Loyalty over Everything

For the people in the back, LOYALTY IS EVERYTHING. Each letter in loyalty and friendship represents something with knowing this, these are some of the things you need to know and keep in mind.