LGBT

Debunking Bisexual Myths: Misconceptions, Misnomers & Erasure

Bisexuality has existed for as long as human attraction itself, yet it remains one of the most misunderstood and misrepresented identities in conversations about sexuality. From myths that erase bisexuality altogether to assumptions that make dating harder, bi folks often find themselves facing skepticism from both straight and queer communities.

So, let’s set the record straight (or, you know, not so straight) by debunking some of the biggest bisexual myths, misnomers, misunderstandings, and assumptions.

Myth #1: Bisexuality Is Just a Phase

? The Assumption: “You’ll eventually pick a side.”
✅ The Reality: Bisexuality is a valid, lifelong orientation, just like being gay or straight.

One of the most common and harmful myths is that bisexuality is a temporary stop on the way to being either gay or straight. Many bisexual people know who they are from an early age and remain bi for life. Others may discover or come to terms with their bisexuality later in life, just like people in other orientations do.

Anecdote: “I came out as bi in my 20s, and my family just assumed I was ‘experimenting.’ Ten years later, I’m still bi, still happily married to my wife, and still dealing with people acting like my past relationships with men ‘didn’t count.’” — Sam, 34

Myth #2: Bisexual People Are Just Confused

? The Assumption: “You just can’t make up your mind.”
✅ The Reality: Bisexuality is an attraction to more than one gender, not a lack of clarity.

The idea that bisexuality = indecision is just plain wrong. Bi people aren’t confused about what they like—they just like more than one gender. It’s like saying you’re confused about liking both pizza and sushi—why not both?

Anecdote: “When I told my friends I was bisexual, one of them said, ‘Oh, you just haven’t figured out what you want yet.’ As if liking more than one gender means I’m standing in a grocery aisle, unable to choose a cereal.” — Maya, 29

Myth #3: Bisexuals Are More Likely to Cheat

? The Assumption: “If you’re attracted to more than one gender, you’ll never be satisfied.”
✅ The Reality: Monogamy and loyalty have nothing to do with sexual orientation.

People assume that because bisexuals are attracted to more than one gender, they must need “one of each” to feel fulfilled. But attraction isn’t the same as action—being bi doesn’t mean someone is any more or less likely to cheat than anyone else.

Anecdote: “A guy I was dating told me he didn’t want to be with a bisexual woman because I’d ‘eventually cheat’ or ‘miss something he couldn’t offer.’ The irony? He was the one who ended up cheating on me.” — Jess, 31

Myth #4: Bisexuality Only Exists in Certain Genders

? The Assumption: “Women can be bi, but men are just gay in denial.”
✅ The Reality: Bisexuality exists across all genders, and bi men are just as real as bi women.

There’s a harmful double standard when it comes to bisexuality. Bi women are often fetishized or assumed to be performing for male attention, while bi men are frequently dismissed as “actually gay” or not “masculine enough.”

This erasure leads to bi men facing even more stigma when coming out. It also affects nonbinary and gender-nonconforming bisexuals, who often feel left out of the conversation entirely.

Anecdote: “When I came out, people kept saying, ‘Oh, you’re just on the way to being gay.’ No, I actually just like all genders. That’s it. That’s the whole thing.” — Chris, 27

Myth #5: Bisexual People Have It “Easier” Than Gay People

? The Assumption: “You can just ‘choose’ to be straight when it’s convenient.”
✅ The Reality: Bisexual people face unique struggles, including erasure and rejection from both straight and LGBTQ+ communities.

Bisexuality is often dismissed as not “queer enough” for LGBTQ+ spaces and too queer for heteronormative settings. This leads to bi erasure, where bisexuality is constantly ignored, dismissed, or rewritten as either gay or straight, depending on the relationship.

Anecdote: “I was dating a woman, and everyone assumed I was a lesbian. Then I started dating a man, and suddenly I was ‘straight now.’ People just erase bisexuality unless you’re dating multiple people at once, which is ridiculous.” — Taylor, 30

Myth #6: Bisexual People Don’t Face Discrimination

? The Assumption: “You’re not really part of the LGBTQ+ struggle.”
✅ The Reality: Bisexual people experience higher rates of mental health issues, workplace discrimination, and even violence.

Bisexual individuals face unique challenges that stem from both homophobia and biphobia. Studies have shown that bisexual people experience higher rates of depression, anxiety, and intimate partner violence than both straight and gay individuals. Many fear coming out in their workplaces due to assumptions and stereotypes.

Anecdote: “I told my boss I was bisexual, and suddenly my male coworkers treated me differently—either like I was a ‘fun experiment’ or that I wasn’t ‘serious’ about relationships. It made work so uncomfortable.” — Jordan, 32

Final Thoughts: Bisexuality Is Real, Valid, and Not Up for Debate

Bisexuality has always existed, and it’s not a phase, not a stepping stone, and not something to “figure out.” The constant misunderstandings, myths, and misnomers around bisexuality contribute to erasure, discrimination, and invalidation.

If you’re bisexual, know that:
? You are real.
? Your identity is valid—no matter who you’re dating.
? You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone.

And if you’re an ally? Listen to bi voices, challenge the myths, and help normalize bisexuality as just as real and deserving of respect as any other orientation.