Let’s keep it real — we’ve all had a toxic ex, messy situationship, or a “friend” who drained the life out of us. And while it’s easy to point fingers at them (and sometimes rightfully so), what if the real tea is what those relationships are saying about you?
It’s not about blame — it’s about growth. 👏🏾 Let’s unpack what your toxic patterns might be revealing and how you can flip the script.
1. You’re Used to Chaos Being Normal
If drama feels like home, it might be because… it was home. Growing up around dysfunction can train your brain to think that love = turbulence. So when someone’s inconsistent, explosive, or constantly testing your peace, you might mistake that for passion.
The Fix: Start romanticizing consistency. Learn to feel safe with boring. Peace is not a red flag. It’s the goal.
2. You Don’t Trust Yourself Yet
If you’re constantly ignoring red flags, silencing your gut, or doubting your decisions — that’s not love, babe. That’s self-distrust in disguise. Sometimes we stay in toxic situations because deep down, we don’t trust ourselves to leave or to find better.
The Fix: Start rebuilding that self-trust with small promises to yourself. Boundaries. Journals. Therapy. You got this.
3. You Think You Can Fix People
You’re not a rehab center. You’re not their mama. If your last few relationships involved you trying to heal someone with your love while you got nothing back but stress and apologies — let’s talk. That might mean you’re measuring your worth through who you can save.
The Fix: You deserve a partner, not a project. Try loving people who are already loving themselves.
4. You’re Afraid to Be Alone
Yep. That part. Sometimes we settle for toxic because being alone feels scarier than being mistreated. If you’ve ever said “but at least I’m not lonely,” it’s time to redefine what lonely means.
The Fix: Alone time is where your glow-up begins. Start pouring into your passions, your peace, and your people.
5. You’re Repeating Unhealed Patterns
Sometimes it’s not just them — it’s who you keep choosing again and again. If your type keeps leaving you emotionally exhausted, that’s not your soulmate — that’s your trauma talking.
The Fix: Get curious, not judgmental. Ask: “What am I attracting? And why?” Healing isn’t linear, but awareness is the first step.
Final Thoughts: Healing Is the Real Flex
Toxic relationships don’t mean you’re broken. But they can be a mirror — reflecting where you need more healing, more love, more standards. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s awareness.
So if you’re ready to break the cycle, start with you. Love you better. Choose you first. Because the version of you who doesn’t settle for crumbs? She’s the real one.
💬 Have you ever had a toxic relationship that taught you something about yourself? Drop a comment — let’s talk healing and leveling up together.
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